The Beefin' Boys review more of Cookeville's best burgers

Aidan Moore - Senior / Gus Creter - Junior, Co-Editor | Columns

The Beefin’ Boys are back in town with the same complicated, messy, and juicy mission at hand: the continued search for the best burger in Cookeville. Traveling far and wide, ravenous carnivores August J. Creter and Aidan L. Moore expanded their eating to more restaurants, ate more burgers, and learned more about themselves along the way.

The first stop on our adventure was a staple of Cookeville’s downtown scene. The Beefin’ Boys, in association with Wendell Swann and our roadies, visited Char. Though we usually restrict ourselves to only two burgers per restaurant, we expanded our pallet to four for Char.

We began this journey with the Wakey Wakey. The breakfast themed burger, containing a fried egg, Applewood smoked bacon and cheddar jack cheese, was worthy of 4 mmm’s. This was indeed an exquisite burger. The bacon may be the most delectable we have yet eaten, and combined with the fried egg, this burger was packed with savory goodness.

Our next burger was titled the Rockafella, and was topped with Spicy spinach dip, cherry tomatoes and mozzarella. We dubbed this meal as being less of a burger and more of an experience, garnering a highly-sought-after score of 4.5 mmm’s.

Though these meat sandwiches were quite scrumptious, it is with great dismay that we tell you that these were Char’s greatest highlights. The rest of our patties were plagued by mediocrity, the better of which was their Frisco Melt. To its credit, the swiss cheese, sautéed onions, and 1000 Island dressing were all of high quality, but we found the excessive tomato overpowering and only mmm’ed 3 times.

The burger to end the night would be the Five Alarm, and frankly, this burger was stupid. This is not due to the intellectual capability of the burger, but the aptly titled “Stupid Sauce” presented on the side of the already overpowering jalapeno peppers and jalapeno bacon. The sauce brought the burger to a point where we could only let out a pitiful 2 mmm’s through our tears and whimpers.

Our next culinary conquest was the Cookeville classic, Spankie’s. Renowned for its classy and Smokey interior, along with its quality food; Spankie’s is the home of the controversial Spankie’s Burger. Everyone has their own opinion of this local icon, and we had to settle the beef.

The Spankie’s Burger is topped with red onion, lettuce, tomato, and Swiss and American cheese. On arrival, the burger’s juice count was through the roof, and our mouths were oozing with anticipation. When tasting the full combination of ingredients, the burger was very tasty; 3.5 mmm's worth for us.

Unfortunately, the burger was slightly overcooked, and the seasoning was lacking. We can only imagine how bussin’ the burger would have been if cooked to our specification of medium rare. When asked about what makes the Spankie's burger so special, a former Spankie's cook responded, "It's not really that special. It's just a burger."

Not only have we been able to expand our taste buds through this adventure, but we’ve become closer along the way. So, go out this winter season and enjoy a burger with friends and family. January 2021 will present the final chapter of the Burger Trilogy, and we hope that you’ll join us.