Chargerette advises on holiday activities and coping with loss

Dear Chargerette,

The holiday season is here and I’m trying to make this Christmas extra special since COVID-19 has dampened our spirits. What are a few safe Christmas activities I can do with my family during the pandemic?

• Anonymous

Dear Safe Snowflake,

Christmas is one of the most wonderful holidays because of all the fun activities that you can do. I could go on and on about all the different ways to celebrate. How can I pick just a few? I’m tempted to write about my favorites, but they might not necessarily be the best for everyone, so here are five Christmas activities you and your people can do during the pandemic.

1. Letters to Soldiers: A great way to spend time with your family and show appreciation for your country is to send holiday cards to soldiers that have to be away from their families during Christmas.

2. Christmas Karaoke: Doing Christmas Karaoke with your family is an excellent way to stay safe inside and have a good time with your family and/or friends. Be careful, though -- you might want to have ear plugs handy for this one!

3. Ice Skating: If you can find a rink outside, you could safely skate with your people. Skating is one of those things that is tons of fun even if you stink at it.

4. New Ornaments: If you’re looking for a new tradition to do with your family, getting one new ornament per person is a nice idea. Each ornament could represent a memory or a place y’all have travelled.

5. Minivan Express: I just had to put in my personal favorite. The main downfall to this one is that you should only do it with family, since you’ll be in a car. This activity will have a different name depending on what car you use. Decorate the inside of your vehicle with battery powered Christmas lights and tinsel. On Christmas Eve night, get in your jammies and make some hot chocolate. If you have any pets, I recommend taking them with you. Put on some Christmas music and ride around town looking at Christmas lights. It’s simple, but it’s one of my favorite holiday traditions from when I was little.

All of these activities are super fun, no matter who you are doing them with. If you’re wanting safe ways to celebrate the holiday season with those close to you, these are the way to go.

Merry Christmas,

Chargerette

Dear Chargerette,

I lost my brother to suicide about a month ago. He was one of the kindest, happiest people ever. Why would he do this? I worry about others who were as close to him as I was. How do we deal with this?

• Anonymous

Dear Sorrowful Sibling,

I’m so sorry. Death is hard. It hurts, especially when it’s family. The thing is, I shouldn’t give you any “advice” about how to handle it, since now is not the time for you to hear it. Everyone grieves in different ways and for different amounts of time. I don’t know how you or your family grieve, so I can’t help you with it. I can, however, just talk to you.

My cousin committed suicide recently. She was so full of life. She was one of the most wonderful, compassionate, and loving people in the world. At least, that’s what I’ve been told. I didn’t know her. I can only remember a few times I got to see her and talk to her. I wondered why she would leave us if she was as happy as everyone said. I don’t know for sure, but I do know that she was struggling with things darker than I have ever had to face. And she fought, she really did, but she lost. We miss her.

I worry about my family too. Her dad, her mom, her siblings. I can’t imagine what they must be feeling. I was unsure of how I’m supposed to be there for them. I have decided to just be someone. Someone who loves them. Someone who is there for them. Just someone.

That has worked for me, and hopefully it’s been what her family needs from me. Since I’m not particularly close to them, I don’t want to get up in their faces about how sorry I am for them. Her family doesn’t need my pity, they need love. I love them, they know that, and that’s enough.

I’m not trying to compare my loss or grief to yours in any way. I get your pain, at least to some degree, that’s all I'm trying to say.

Love always,

Chargerette