Cookeville High School falls victim to deep-state corruption

Olivia Hall, News Editor

America, a country many used to deem "free," is now infected with authoritarian administration actively mandating freedom-restricting rules. Cookeville High School has been spared no mercy in what some students call "the age-old battle against ageism."

These students are taking action against their governing teachers and administrators to take back their cell phone rights and gain respect in their learning environment.

According to the new policy, students must place their cell phones in “PCSS-approved” “cell phone holders” during "instructional time."

However, a few administrators and school board members have shown interest in taking phones away during lunch to help prevent vandalism and other issues supposedly caused by cell phones. They have shown their support by installing the corrupt cellular prisons in the cafeteria, although they have yet to ask students to utilize them.

Not only is this policy affecting the students negatively, but the teachers are also hurting. When asked his opinion on the cell phone policy, English teacher Samuel Matson said, ''I'm not a fan [of the cell phone policy] because I was increasing my score on chess.com by 25 points a day, but now that I can't be on my phone I'm only increasing it by 7."

Some students have found a silver lining in this dark, iniquitous rule. A black market adjacent scheme has opened up in the bathrooms of CHS. Students and teachers have been selling old or fake cell phones in the bathroom between classes for students to place in their holders instead of their phones.

Drama teacher Shane Cunningham, called this new business venture a "circumvention plot," acknowledging the marketing genius of the students here.

Matson took a different approach to the situation, claiming he had made several hundred dollars in the first week alone.

When asked further questions about his knowledge of this potty program, Matson said, “I am the black market in the bathrooms."

It is a fair assumption to say he is an inspiration to oppressed students and cell phone users everywhere.